Friday, October 01, 2010

Five celebs I would love to have as clients

Recently a few celebs have been in the media a little more often than not ... not for their great works or deeds, but rather for indiscretions, DUIs, philandering and a lot of bad judgement!

If I could take on five celebs I liked to scrub down and rub the tarnish off, here is my wish list:

Tiger Woods: I know, I know ... isn’t 20 a little too excessive?!! But really, this guy is a PR dream come true for any makeover artist. First thing I would do, is stage the customary photo opp with the kids. Always a hit with the media and pulls at the heartstrings of even the most right-wing evangelical mother. Show him at the zoo, amusement park or having a family breakfast at Perkins. A visit to the Buddist Temple with mom is a good follow up story. Now all he has to do is win a major (or kick-ass at the Ryder Cup!) and figure out that putting. He'll be back on the leaderboard in no time.

Lindsay Lohan: Poor little Lilo. Here’s a train wreck begging for a transformation from a professional PR person. My action plan with this diva is to call a press conference pronto. She needs to beg forgiveness from family, friends and the public for her reckless behaviour. She needs to look sorry and shed a few tears a la crying preacher. Then I would beg Quentin Tarantino to put her in one of his films (he can resuscitate any failing career, ask John Travolta!) and you’ve got the come-back kid of the year. If Robert Downy Jr. can do it .... she can too. Just stay off the sauce kid.

Mel Gibson: In my opinion, this guy’s got more talent in his pinky finger than anyone in Hollywood including James Cameron. But why can’t this guy shut the hell up and keep his fists in his pocket. First order of business, he needs to be seen in public with squeaky clean women beyond reproach. Taylor Swift is a good start. Not to be dating her, but at a public dinner discussing his next film project. He needs to go on a few chat shows and work the couch. Namely The View, he can put Hasselbeck in her place, and I’d bet she’d enjoy it. If he wins the female audience back, we’ll all be asking “Oksana who?”

Kanye West: After his disturbing interruption on Taylor Swift during last year’s MTV awards, the guy has uttered a few insincere apologies, but has lost a young audience namely due to his unabashed arrogance and self indulgent music. I have only two words for Kanye that will make him a sure-fire hit with anyone under 16 ... Justin Bieber! Get that duet underway and the most powerful buying group in North America will put you squarely on top again. A photo shoot of you and Bieber on the cover of J-14, and you’ll never have to beg forgiveness again .. not your style anyways Kanye.

And lastly, for my PR miracle cure ...

President Obama: Now how could this man with such an impeccable pedigree make my list of celebs who need a PR makeover. But President or not, he is a bona-fide celebrity of supreme stature who makes TV appearances, followed by the press and whose every word in the public domain is documented and analyzed to the core. But he’s not scoring any points with the American public -- with little or no progress on the economy, a healthcare reform getting a lukewarm reception and foreign policy that no party is happy with ... Obama needs a defibrillator to get that approval rating back up. Well, everyone knows that behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes. That’s right... Michelle get out there now .. faster than you can pump those arms! He needs your help. Go on the campaign trail, go on The View, Lopez Tonight, do stand up on SNL – look what that did for that Alaskan beauty queen ... but for God’s sake woman help your man out!! That’s what First Ladies are for. Make America forget their woes and have them fall in love with you!

Ok. Any takers?

1 comment:

Naheed Ahmed said...

Hi Julie,

I never thought I would see Obama on your list. After all the back and forth we had in the run up to the elections. Needless to say, you are right and he needs help - big time! Hope you are well. Naheed