Back to work baby mama

Congratulations! You’ve had a baby. Oh, the joys of parenthood are just too many to list. You’ve had a year off, watched junior grow, watched your baby take that first gulp of pablum, changed hundreds of diapers, lay awake nights waiting for the next wail for feeding time, and marvelled at her little toes and hands are wondered how you ever created such a breathtaking human being.

Reality sets in and it’s time to go back to work. Time to dip back into stockings, high heels and plastering on the war paint (I’m obviously speaking to women here, but if you’re a guy and this sounds like you, too, call me – we need to talk).

Integrating back into the work environment after cocooning with baby and family can be rough if you’ve been completely cut off from the mother-ship. You see, while you’ve been off at Gymboree classes, your office hasn’t stopped winning business and supporting clients. And this whole Twitter thing you’ve been hearing about? It’s very real and pervasive and you should have been tweeting on MAT leave!

So now you’re back and ready to take your rightful place back in the office as you should. But you’re not the same you! You’re a mom now and proud of it. You want to tell your co-workers, managers, clients, media, suppliers, the janitor, and anyone who comes within ear shot just how wonderful baby is and motherhood.

Well, I feel for you and have been exactly in that position. I love babies, baby stories, stories about how you had to leave a party due to baby’s mudslide incident on the back of the sleeper. I love baby pictures, mom stories, baby talk, cool new baby toys ... you name it, I can spend countless hours talking to you.

But guess what? Not everyone wants to hear about bambino. So, let me share with you my Top Five Baby pointers for being a Baby Mama at the office:

1. Don’t build a shrine to your baby with a collage of photos on your desk. A couple of choice photos makes for a nice display. Show the baby-in-the-bath pix only to your best friends.

2. When someone asks you how your weekend was, remember, a one-syllable answer is what is expected (fine, good, great ..etc.) Start in with a telethon of “let me tell you what junior is up to” and you may lose everyone at the first hello.

3. Don’t complain to your boss that you are very tired ‘cuz junior was teething all night so you didn’t manage to get any sleep. This is a big no-no. Never blame the kid for anything. You are Super Mom and that’s why there is Red Bull, eye concealer and, hopefully, a helpful husband or night nanny in the evenings.

4. Wash out your clothes with the dried spit-up milk on the shoulder before getting another wear out of it. The aroma of rancid milk wafting in the boardroom is a turn off. Your nose may be used to it, but others don’t want that whiff in the air.

5. And never, ever, ever discuss lactation issues, birthing horrors, stretch marks or stitches around men. Women who have been there can sympathize and often relish in a new mom's misery.

Hope this helps! Welcome back mom.

To mothers everywhere

Sunday May 10th we celebrate Mother’s Day, a wonderful tradition first introduced on May 10, 1908, by Anna Jarvis and six years later made a national holiday by U.S. President Woodrow Wilson. This holiday is a licence to print money for any telecommunications company (it’s the busiest phone day) and any greeting card company (50 per cent of households give Mother’s Day cards). Mommy bloggers the world over are probably also going to see a spike in readership, too. Here’s a very good round up of top mommy blogs.

I became a mother more than eight years ago, so I really love this special day. It's nice to be recognized at least once a year for all the good deeds of motherhood I do each day! Raising a girl isn’t easy. Rachel is a lot like me so some days we spend time head-butting over the most inane issues. Being a very busy working mom complicates the motherhood thing even more. You basically live an existence of pain and guilt with almost every decision you make. Attending clients’ events are critical, but missing your daughter’s first recital because of it is heart-wrenching. Those are the decisions you have to make and then live with them without regret. It’s a fine balancing act that requires some nerves of steel … and a double martini on some nights! It reminds me of a saying I once heard: “By the time you think your mother is right, you have a daughter who thinks you’re wrong.” How true!

So to all the stay-at-home moms, working moms, CEO moms, entrepreneurial moms, blogger moms, young moms, cougar moms, menopausal moms, prison moms, celebrity moms, soccer moms, MILF moms, millionaire moms, pill-popping moms, and single moms ... I wish you a very Happy Mother’s Day.

Remember this is your day. Don’t cook, don’t take out the garbage, don’t take “no” for an answer. If you don’t like the robe and slippers your significant other bought you, tell him to return it and to get you a box of those new Titleist Pro V-1 balls you’ve been asking for… got that, honey?

Why I like it behind the camera

Last month I was asked by the producers of the MoneyTalk show to appear on the segment which is hosted by Patricia Lovett-Reid. The show airs on Canada’s BNN and it airs nationally three times during one week and then posted to the web site.

I was more than happy to be interviewed since the topic was right up my alley – women entrepreneurs. I can talk all day about entrepreneurship and women’s struggles and accomplishments, the do's and don’ts, the pitfalls and opportunities, the children and, of course, the whole work-life balance thing.

When I received the questions in advance of the taping, I knew I would be in my element and couldn’t wait for the gems to flow out of my mouth. When you know a topic inside and out, it makes any interview smooth as silk. I rehearsed in front of the mirror for a few days prior (I always prep in front of a mirror, stops me from frowning). I was confident and ready for my close-up.

I arrived very early in the morning at the BNN studios where I went directly to the makeup room. I was greeted by the effervescent Pattie (who is much cuter in person than on TV!). She’s a real fireball and one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. She greeted me with a big hello and then said, “Julie, since you’re in PR and a branding expert, I thought we could talk about personal branding and what it means in business as opposed to corporate brands. Sound okay with you?”

Huh? Personal branding? What the heck does that mean? What happened to the entrepreneurial stuff you were gonna ask me? I know about corporate branding and messaging (heck, we do that every day).But personal branding? All I could think of was, “Geez. Am I ever f^$%!"

After an inch thick of pancake foundation was applied, I was led into the deep freeze of a studio where I was rigged for sound under my jacket, given a mug of warm water and was told to look at Pattie and not the camera during the 10-minute interview. Ok, I got that part. As for the interview itself, I had no idea what was going to come out of my mouth.

So if you want to have a good laugh, have a look at my interview here and watch me squirm. I have no ego, so be brutally honest with me. I think I managed a few good sound bites, too bad they can’t cut down the interview to 60 seconds. Check out my ummms and "you knows." Brutal!

This abysmal interview further validates my decision to stay behind the camera at all times. I mean, I can tell someone else what to do in front of the camera -- no problemo. But sweet baby Jesus – I can’t save myself.

You don't call, you don't write, you don't blog enough

When I run into friends I haven’t stayed in touch with, I hear the usual whine “Why don’t you call more often?” Now when I run into people I barely know I get, “Why don’t you blog more often?” Jeeez, you can’t catch a break these days. I confess, I have a problem. My blogs are too long and I don’t post that often. I tend to over-think everything. Ever since I started this blog (it’s all Dave’s fault, he got me into this, and he hasn't posted since June 9th!), I approach blogging like some kind of English exam. I research my assignment, I re-write entries many times over, and I cram the day before. It’s not good.

Now, I have a ton of excuses for not blogging more than once a week or a few times a month. Here goes: I run a company. Between business development, client service and HR stuff I have a pretty busy day. Next up, I’m a mom, too. I have a rambunctious seven-year-old who loves dance, dress-up, soccer and Wii – and I’m there for most of it. And finally, summer is in full swing in Toronto and I’d rather be golfing, barbequing and swimming than banging out a few hundred words for my blog. But hey … I can come up with 101 excuses for not blogging more, but I won’t. Because once you have committed to blogging, I don’t think you should make lame excuses for not doing what you started.

And herein lies the big issue with blogging. It’s not just about having the skill to blog (yes, you need to know how to write well) but you need a firm commitment to the practice of blogging. Time is such a precious commodity (more than oil) and for me there are days when I just can’t find that 20 minutes to write. I have a ton of thought-ware, but it’s about dedicating time to write it down.

So here’s my promise, I will try to get to my blog thingie more often. And above all, I’ll keep it short and sweet.

Okay, maybe not so sweet.

Mama Mia

One of my clients just gave birth to a happy, healthy baby boy. Mom is a high-powered marketing executive for a large professional services firm in Toronto. It’s her first baby and I’m sure she is over the moon just about now. I can honestly say that I know exactly what she is feeling and going through right about now ... a boatful of emotions ranging from pure joy to utter fear. She is a smart, driven, A-Type personality, but newborns know none of this! She’ll be teary and blurry eyed in no time, and checking her BlackBerry will be a distant memory. The house will look like a typhoon went through it, and the notion of dipping into high-heeled shoes or putting on makeup will be the furthest thing from her mind.

Having a child is the most amazing gift. I remember giving birth to Rachel (how can I ever forget … it was 31 hours of pure agony!). I mean, I thought launching a business was exhilarating and fulfilling but nothing, absolutely nothing, can ever compare to becoming a Mom. Those without children will never know the purest form of unconditional love and how your whole life changes in an instant with that little human being consuming every bit of your existence. As Tiger Woods said when he recently became a Dad: “How can you love something so much that didn't exist the day before?” I couldn’t agree more!

My client, who is just entering motherhood, will be dealing with seemingly mundane tasks like changing poopie nappies and feeding at ungodly hours. It’s a far cry from her powerhouse meetings and big-time career, but she’ll be entering a new stage of her life that will yield more meaning than any accomplishment she may have achieved in her paid job.

Our firm has been dispensing PR advice to her for years, but here’s my personal counsel now that she’s a parent:

Take as much time off as you need and completely disconnect from the office – Your child needs you more than your boss does.

Don’t fuss over the house or your body – Forget the vacuuming and just sleep when the baby does. It’s more important than clean carpets.

Accept help – If anyone offers to take care of junior for the evening, say yes and pull out the calendar pronto!

Congratulations, my fellow Mom, and best wishes for the journey of a lifetime.

(Photo of my little Rachel and me circa summer 1999)